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<\/a><\/p>\n“Hold on, I’m not paying that, I pay for the Service Plan, it should be free”, I bark.
\n“Actually sir, your Plan ran out in January 2006.”, he responds, Scottishly.
\n“How do you work that one out, I started the plan around then, and I’m still paying for that now”, I retort, spitting crumbs of Jammie Dodgers all over the sofa.
\nHe stutters: “Well, umm, according to my system it…”
\nI interrupt: “Don’t call it a system, it’s a computer. If it’s a system I have to wonder if you’re looking at a Sega Master System, and I doubt Sonic the Sodding Hedgehog knows much about my extended warranty”.<\/p>\n
An uneasy silence (followed by a barely audible tumbleweed)<\/p>\n
“I’m sorry to hear that sir, but I suggest you contact Domestic And General about your Service Plan”, he pipes.
\n“Fine, but cancel that call-out, I’ll be back”, I conclude, schwarzennegerly.<\/p>\n
“Sky Repair Plan, how can I help?” says Louise, who I mentally imagine to look like Louise Redknapp, for some reason.
\n“My Sky+ box is knackered, and I Sky won’t honour my Service Plan thingy.”
\n“Oh dear, can I just take your details?”, she sings unconvincingly<\/p>\n
**The next few lines censored to protect the innocent, and my bank account details**<\/p>\n
“Right, well, your plan seems to be in order, just hang on the line and I’ll settle it out with Sky”, she warbles.<\/p>\n
**The lack of Greensleeves is impressive**<\/p>\n
“Just putting you through to Sky now, I’ve sorted out your plan, and they just need to arrange a time for the engineer to arrive”. she says something else, but by now I’ve undressed her with my mind and lost the track of time.<\/p>\n
I land back on planet earth when Sloth from The Goonies tells me “The engineer will turn up between 10am and 1pm on Thursday, sorry for the miunderstading”. Somehow I end up covered in spit over the phone.<\/p>\n
Update: Just to f**king spite me, my other sky box is on the blink, and so is my newly installed Sky Broadband. Do I have to lick Rupert Murdoch’s wrinkly old mansack to get good service around here?<\/p>\n
Post originally posted by myself on the Digital Spy Forums<\/a>. If you’re experiencing similar amounts of crap, the guys and gals at DS can help \ud83d\ude42<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" After a fantastic couple of years, my Pace Sky+ PVR2 bit the dust today. No Sky+ functionality, but at least the box is still working. Anyway, I gave Sky a call, 20 minutes of trying every thing the guy told me to try, to no avail. Finally he gives up and arranges for an engineer … Continue reading