After a fantastic couple of years, my Pace Sky+ PVR2 bit the dust today. No Sky+ functionality, but at least the box is still working. Anyway, I gave Sky a call, 20 minutes of trying every thing the guy told me to try, to no avail. Finally he gives up and arranges for an engineer to come out “Sometime between Friday and Monday”, and that’ll cost £65.
“Hold on, I’m not paying that, I pay for the Service Plan, it should be free”, I bark.
“Actually sir, your Plan ran out in January 2006.”, he responds, Scottishly.
“How do you work that one out, I started the plan around then, and I’m still paying for that now”, I retort, spitting crumbs of Jammie Dodgers all over the sofa.
He stutters: “Well, umm, according to my system it…”
I interrupt: “Don’t call it a system, it’s a computer. If it’s a system I have to wonder if you’re looking at a Sega Master System, and I doubt Sonic the Sodding Hedgehog knows much about my extended warranty”.
An uneasy silence (followed by a barely audible tumbleweed)
“I’m sorry to hear that sir, but I suggest you contact Domestic And General about your Service Plan”, he pipes.
“Fine, but cancel that call-out, I’ll be back”, I conclude, schwarzennegerly.
“Sky Repair Plan, how can I help?” says Louise, who I mentally imagine to look like Louise Redknapp, for some reason.
“My Sky+ box is knackered, and I Sky won’t honour my Service Plan thingy.”
“Oh dear, can I just take your details?”, she sings unconvincingly
**The next few lines censored to protect the innocent, and my bank account details**
“Right, well, your plan seems to be in order, just hang on the line and I’ll settle it out with Sky”, she warbles.
**The lack of Greensleeves is impressive**
“Just putting you through to Sky now, I’ve sorted out your plan, and they just need to arrange a time for the engineer to arrive”. she says something else, but by now I’ve undressed her with my mind and lost the track of time.
I land back on planet earth when Sloth from The Goonies tells me “The engineer will turn up between 10am and 1pm on Thursday, sorry for the miunderstading”. Somehow I end up covered in spit over the phone.
Update: Just to f**king spite me, my other sky box is on the blink, and so is my newly installed Sky Broadband. Do I have to lick Rupert Murdoch’s wrinkly old mansack to get good service around here?
Post originally posted by myself on the Digital Spy Forums. If you’re experiencing similar amounts of crap, the guys and gals at DS can help 🙂